Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
They use fowl language.
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A turkey that can pluck itself!
When do you serve tofu turkey?
Pranks-giving.
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving?
A turkey because it is always stuffed.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off!
What do you call a running turkey?
Fast food.
What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers.
What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!
What was the turkey looking for at ToysRus? Gobbleheads.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
A poultry-geist!
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
Goblet.
What’s the best way to stuff a turkey?
Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
To hatchet.
What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing! Wing!
What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
One has gobblers, the other goblins.
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went. “Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter. “Did it not taste good?” her mother asked. “I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”
