By Heather Douglas
“These illustrations suggest four general maxims[…].
The first is: remember that your motives are not always as altruistic as they seem to yourself.
The second is: don’t over-estimate your own merits.
The third is: don’t expect others to take as much interest in you as you do yourself.
And the fourth is: don’t imagine that most people give enough thought to you to have any special desire to persecute you.” Bertrand Russell, (1872 – 1970), The Conquest of Happiness, published 1930.
In the last 20 years, the Canadian oilpatch saw a crop of young, self-assured, aggressive engineers and geologists launch oil companies in Calgary. As presidents and CEOs, they rode the high crude prices to heights of profitability, which they attributed to their own brilliance, personal wisdom, and keen business acumen. They had bought plays, too small for the majors, and turned them into money-making ventures. They never discovered anything new – like the true explorers of the past: Arne Nielsen (Mobil Canada), Jim Gray (Canadian Hunter), Jack Gallagher (Dome Petroleum), and J.C. Anderson (Anderson Exploration) – to name a few.
From their lofty pedestals, these leaders crossed the boundary from healthy confidence into thinking so highly of themselves, they valued themselves more than they valued their employees, shareholders, or opponents. They felt invincible.
Many boards and directors also contributed to the narcissism of the day. Surely they saw the signs of greed, self-centredness, shallow relationships, vanity, social isolation, phony economics, bail-outs, and the tendency to blame others when things went south — in their CEOs and executive teams. Perhaps they were guilty of having similar destructive qualities. Maybe they cheated in relationships because they met some who looked more desirable, or they became problem drinkers because alcohol made them feel good (not because they wanted to destroy their lives).
Their narcissism and their sense of entitlement, has been challenged and found wanting. To say nothing of the families, torn apart by debt and facing few employment opportunities, who were hurt by rounds of downsizing and the inability of leadership to creatively find solutions (such as wage roll-backs) instead of firing employees to save their own bacon.
Have coffee with the CEOs now, and most have been humbled by their lack of foresight that prices might tumble and remain low for an extended time, naivete their hot-shot MBAs could not quickly solve every commercial challenge (hello OPEC), and the pain they suffered having to sell core assets to keep their companies afloat.
The research is clear. The cult of self-admiration has raised Canadians’ opinions of themselves. A June, 2009 poll found that two out of three university students agreed their generation was more narcissistic than their predecessors – a remarkably honest admission of an unflattering portrait. Self-esteem is at an all-time high, with more than 80 per cent of recent university graduates scoring higher than those who graduated in the 1960s. Middle school kids rated their self-esteem at 93 per cent, compared to tweens in the 1980s. We love to love ourselves.
How did we raise a generation of self-absorbed narcissists? Few boundaries were set by families and teachers as they told the children they were all “stars” and “winners,” even as they turned in mediocre performances. We didn’t want to hurt their self-esteem. Celebrity culture and the media tempted leaders to believe their own press, rather than focusing on their employee’s accomplishments. The Internet enables people to present “an inflated and self-focused view of themselves to the world,” as they believed the world hung onto their every 140-character tweet.
According to the clinicians at Mayo Clinic, narcissists share several features:
• Has an exaggerated sense of self-importance;
• Expects to be recognized as superior, even without achievements that warrant it;
• Exaggerates achievements and talents;
• Preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or the perfect mate;
• Believes he/she is superior and thus can only be understood by or associate with equally special people;
• Requires constant admiration;
• Has a strong sense of entitlement;
• Expects special favours and unquestioning compliance from others;
• Takes advantage of others to get what person wants;
• Has an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others; and
• Behaves in an arrogant or haughty manner.
Narcissism is never miraculously healed, like Scrooge in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. The best action a chair and board can take to dampen narcissism is to put it into quarantine. Change the balanced scorecard to include words like humility (defined as the ability to see oneself accurately and without defensiveness), compassion (being kind to oneself while truthfully facing reality), and mindfulness (the awareness of the present moment: thoughts, moods, and physical experience, without negative feelings).
Ron Holifield, author of 4th Dimension Leadership: A Radical Strategy for Creating an Authentic Servant Leadership Culture (published April, 2017), says the board needs to take an intense and disciplined focus on its executive team and corporate structure. This means evaluating how employees are recruited, assessed, and then developed as leaders to ensure they are aligned with the company’s culture and values. He reports best-in-class companies follow these principles:
• “Treat everyone with dignity and respect in every interaction;
• Select team members who strive for professional excellence in every responsibility;
• Prepare for the future by developing and empowering leaders at every level;
• Prepare before you promote;
• Select people who demonstrate continuous improvement in every aspect both personally and professionally;
• Integrity matter most in every circumstance; and
• Is isn’t just about now … it isn’t just about me … and it never is.”
The popping of the oil price bubble and resulting recession caused a drop of materialism in Western Canada. It moved the industry’s leaders into a more moderate and even thrifty way of thinking and managing. This bodes well for the future. These leaders appear ready to walk a different path, one whose way is marked by responsibility for themselves, their families, and the communities where they operate. This is the right road to travel. It values the things that bring joy, without harming others, such as hard work, personal freedom, and taking accountability and responsibility for ones’ actions.
It’s the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
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